Dear Ask Boz

What’s inside an empty box? 

Ford McGillicuddy 

Dear Ford,

Scientists, philosophers and other idiots would say that a box can’t be empty and have things inside of it. Fools! Unlike such Moron-Americans, I’m making money promoting emptiness. I am presently signing an endorsement deal with The Box Maker to promote their Empty Box Storage System. 

The EBSS is made to endure the structural stresses that come with containing nothing. Empty Box can hold everynothing, because it is designed for the rigors of holding things that have no true substance, from empty promises, to true freedom, through third parties, and beyond. 

But that’s not all!! Here are some other things you can store in Empty Box: 

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