Author: boz bozeman

The Activation of Zen

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My favorite Zen story starts with a Master walking down a road, carrying a sack on his back. A local wise man recognizes that this is a Zen Master and hurries out to greet him. The Master politely responds, but he keeps walking.  

Understanding that he only has a moment, the wise man says, “Please, Master, I must ask you a question. What is the realization of Zen?” 

At this, the Master stops, takes the bag off his shoulder, and sets in on the ground.  

Understanding this was his answer, the wise man boldly asked another question: “Then what is the activation of Zen?” 

The Master bends, picks up the bag, settles it on his shoulder, and walks on.  

To me, this story teaches about two powerful acts: 

  1. Setting Down the Bag 

I see the Master’s bag as a symbol of what we carry in life. Love and friendships, family and work. Being a person and interacting with people. Burdens and responsibilities.  

By putting it down, the Master relieves himself of the weight of his existence, the load of living a human life. With all of this off his shoulders, he can take a break. He can remember that there is rest from toiling, there is healing for pain, and that love is the balm of attachment.  

In this moment, a regular person could realize that some of the items in the bag are not really that heavy. Letting it down gives space to realize that some weight has been added, perhaps by excess worry or negative thinking.  

I’d like to think that this is a moment when things can be removed from the bag. Old thought patterns, neediness and jealousy, greed and disappointment. Even crusty dreams might finally get their rest on the side of the road.  

  1. Picking Up the Bag 

The Master activates Zen by picking the bag back up. I think this represents the total acknowledgment of living and acceptance of the conditions that we live in.  

Picking up the bag demonstrates that he is choosing the responsibilities and relationships he has. It shows that he wants to carry this weight, that he accepts what he chooses to carry. 

Indeed, the Master and the sack are one thing, even if it can be put down.  

If you’d like to read more of my philosophy, check out Tao of Thoreau.

Advice from an only couple

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When you’re an only couple, being there as your family and friend’s kids grow up is a treat. It’s great to be part of their lives, their growth. To see sisters, brothers, friends become mothers and fathers is to see their pride and their skill.  It is an honor to be part of.

Since we see them occasionally, Patty and I get a perspective that parents don’t: seeing the jump in personality and behavior over months. Suddenly a small child becomes … well, a less small child, but with much bigger ideas. Then, they’re not children anymore as they take that ride though the teens and early twenties. Now there are deep conversations, but the playful nature of the connection remains.  

And, in that uncle or aunt fashion, we get to be role models at each level. And be ridiculous. That’s one of my strengths as an uncle: wise and a little crazy. 

I’m writing this because my good friend’s son graduated from high school last Friday. I’m writing this because I had in my mind a mini-speech I wanted to give him. It was based on my freshman year of college. But I recognized immediately that it was all about me. Which made me suspect it wouldn’t be for him. 

And it wasn’t. I trashed that idea, but I still wanted to impart some advice. I settled on something concise: “I hope your college years aren’t the best four years of your life, but you should live them like they will be. Then you’ll set a high bar to surpass in your adulthood.” 

Not bad advice, and while it was based on my experience, it was a better message for him.  

Writing about not writing

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I didn’t want to write about not writing. But the only thing I can think about is why I’m not writing. Why my creativity is not creativating. Why my brain is so tired that the thought of writing makes it nap time.

Why am I not writing? Mostly, it’s this school year. It has been very difficult for numerous reasons, but as a professional I’m not going to list them. Suffice to say that it has been rough. It’s only been recently that I felt I was overcoming some of the challenges I’m facing. The process has made me stronger, which makes me confident that I will feel more creative energy. That and SUMMER IS COMING!

Being in pain for a year before her hip surgery was really hard on Patty, of course. We are intertwined, so it was also very difficult to me to see her struggling, and we both were bummed that we couldn’t do the active things we like to do.

Patty is better now! So that burden has been laid down, and the energy from it is starting to return.

On the positive side, we had “Step into the Spring” at work, which is a school wide step challenge. So I spent the month of April doing as much activity as possible. Being an active teacher, taking Anna for longer walks, and doing a lot of yard work. And the yard looks GOOD.

Oh, and I won.

Very positive, but obviously tiring. Coupled with a day of teaching, the physical and mental drain made it more difficult to get writing.

But I’m back! I mean I have a website – gotta be a responsible blogger!

Back for a challenge

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The form below is called a Renga. The breaks show the different line requirements and syllable counts. More info can be found at tankatuesday.com.

Contrast the hint of 
flowers with the attack of 
weeds. Balance of Spring.

Hints of summer in sunlight
humidity, light and heat.

Then cool like the fall.
Leaves hush instead of rustle,
No hint of winter
Once bare trees are blossoming
Nature's first green is golden.

Eclipse in a Dish

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I failed to get us eclipse glasses. Honestly I didn’t even think about it. We were so caught up in Uconn’s championship run and celebrating our birthdays that it didn’t occur to me to pick up glasses.

I had a solution. Years ago, I was washing dishes during a partial eclipse, and I saw the reflection of the sun in the water. Realizing I could watch the reflection safely, I filled a small dish with water and placed it on the garden window. I was able to “watch” it indirectly. One cool effect is that the depth of water means a layered image: the top image is nearly too bright to look at, but the refracted ones are like shadows, and give a really good sense of the shape of the sun as it is obscured.

This picture is as close as I could get to capturing the effect. The reflection allowed us to enjoy the partial eclipse here, but I’m sure didn’t compare to the total with appropriate lenses.

Here’s the poem I wrote years ago when I discovered this eclipse watching cheat code:

I watch the eclipse 
In a dish 
In the garden window. 

Even reflected 
The light stings my eyes. 

The water is still,  
Deep enough 
To give shape to the sun. 

I tap the rim and the water tilts 
Tipping side to side. 
The sun in a cradle 
Rocking, rippling, warped.

Bonehead: the secret history of UConn hoops

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The first time I saw Patty she glowed. We met at the bar Bourbon Street in Hartford CT, and the night was like Mardi Gras for us: partying, dancing and laughing. I’ll leave any “beads business” to the imagination. I was immediately struck by her, and we started dating right away. 

It was March when we met, and Patty and I bonded over our shared passion for UConn basketball. The men’s and women’s programs were just beginning a climb to national prominence, but Connecticut already had a case of “Husky Fever”. Sharing their triumphs was an early joy, and the pain of defeat in March Madness stung us both immensely.  

Our relationship flourished along with many basketball triumphs. One day, I was looking for something in the closet of our condo and I found something that looked like a bone. Made of foam, it was bone white, and it said “Husky Hoops” in black letters. It was a dog bone! And it was made to be worn as a hat. 

We had just scored season tickets for the 98-99 men’s home games. When I saw the bone, I knew it was destiny! I would wear the bone to games. Maybe Coach Calhoun would spot me in the crowd! 

But then I thought: what if Patty doesn’t want to be sitting next to the guy with the bone on his head? Maybe this is not something that adults do. 

When she came home from work, I greeted her with the bone on my head. She laughed and said, “Where did you find that? I won it in a raffle years ago.” 

I told her how I found it, then said, “I want to wear it to games.” It seemed forever waiting for her reply.

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I Shot Chewbacca

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The first time I shot Chewbacca felt like I was betraying my childhood. 

I was seven when my brother took me to see the original Star Wars. That’s when I met Chewbacca. Chewy was larger than life in every way, as a character and on the big screen. I loved all the characters, especially Han Solo.  At my young age, those characters were as real as anyone I knew, and that included a 7’6 Wookie. 

After seeing Star Wars, I identified as Han for 5 years. Chewbacca was my best friend and co-pilot. The character was sometimes played by my human best friend Eddie, who was good at barking dialogue and could do a solid Chewy roar. Over the years we had so many adventures in my mind and in my yard.  

Now, it’s fair to ask: how could I shoot Chewie? Well, as an adult I was playing the video game Star Wars: Battlefront. On this one level, you choose a character from the Empire. It was conflicting enough to choose which Stormtrooper I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be ANY Stormtrooper! They’re bad people! And horrible shots! 

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Leap Day

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Yesterday was leap day. I spent it taking care of my wife, who is recovering from a hip replacement. Her situation reminds me of the transition from Winter to Spring. Winter would be her painful determination to keep going despite the physical obstacles she was facing. Spring has just begun: the healing and slow emergence into pain free movement after surgery. 

Sit still on leap day
And heal like the quiet earth
Growth comes again soon