politics

Powerlessness is Freedom

/ boz bozeman / 2 Comments

Like many people, I feel very triggered by politics and politicians. That’s never been truer than over the past ten years for me.  

I’m not going to reveal my political leanings, because that’s not what this is about. It is about my recognition of my powerlessness. And how facing it has given me a sense of freedom that I have not felt in a very long time.  

As I was stressing my way through the millionth consecutive troubling news cycle, the realization finally hit me: I believed I had power over the politics and policies of our nation and world.  

But like just about everyone else, I don’t. I have my vote, I have my voice, and that is it. The President, my senators and congresshumans, literally anyone who has real political power does not know the thoughts in my head, the frustrations I feel, the stress and unhappiness elicited when something happens that I disagree with. 

Yet, I felt like I did have power. Like the intensity of my emotions and the correctness of my views could somehow make an impact on monumental world decisions.  So my frustration when things didn’t go my way was monumental, to the point where it impacted my mental health.

I guess I experienced the Five Stages of Grief. And I got pretty stuck on Anger, Depression and Bargaining. But each of those stages are steps on the journey, certainly not the destination.

The destination is Acceptance. And that means facing my powerlessness.

Yet when this happened, it opened up power. The power to invest the time, energy and emotion I had been wasting on my political disappointment and focus those on my job, my writing, my family and friends. Instead of unhealthy obsession, I am using my focus and thoughts to enhance my life.

I will never stop being interested in the world around me. But it’s not going to stop me from embracing my world.

Braver

/ boz bozeman / 12 Comments

I’m not always good at the struggle. Especially after 30 years of teaching, it can be really difficult to confront a misbehaving class and find constructive ways to change the situation. It’s stressful and exhausting. I mean, it’s like how many times do I have to overcome the same challenges.

At least one more time, I guess.

These lyrics were in my head this morning, and I’m so happy they were. They are from the song “Braver” by my favorite band 311. The dashed words are mine. 

I know you say you're done
I know you wanna run
---- but I have to be ----
Braver, braver than anyone
Braver than anyone
Braver than anyone

I’m presently teaching a class that makes me want to say I’m done, and makes me want to run. But of course, neither is possible unless I quit. 

The day I wanted 
To walk away, leave teaching
Inspired progress

Instead of walking away, I had to be brave. It’s has taken bravery to bring my administrators in on the problem. In my early career, it was risky to admit that you were having a hard time with a group. It felt like you were risking your job. Now, the model has changed, and the admin is supposed to advise without evaluating the teacher negatively. It’s also brave to confront a problem that seems to have no solution. 

Brave enough to change
Courage to admit weakness
Find a better way

Getting advice and talking openly with my students has given me insight into ways that the problems can be fixed. And that we can do it together. Bravery isn’t temporary; it has to become the way.

Thanks to tankstuesday for this challenge!