I can’t seem to find shoes that fit right. I still go to the store and try them on, and they feel fine, but then I start wearing them and they just don’t feel great.

I realize I need a few things to get it right. It needs to be the 1970s. I need to go to a department store, and a stranger has to use one of these jammies to measure my feet:

Then my mother has to press the tip of the shoe. Listen, I get that she was making sure there was some space for me to grow into them, but this process always worked. So, with these three simple and very realistic steps, I’ll be back in good shoes in no time.