Patty and I were not on our A game in Florence, Italy. We knew we had a tour of the famous Duomo, but we had no idea where we were supposed to meet our tour group. Thankfully we were there a half-hour early, and we had time to trace down the information we needed. We met our tour group with time enough to calm down.

The beginning of the tour was a wonderful journey through art and architecture. Then it was time to climb. I was ready for climbing the 417 stairs physically, but mentally I was not prepared for the claustrophobic stone stair case as we climbed. With my heart racing from the exertion of climbing, and shortness of breath, it probably triggered my anxiety.

I was totally unprepared for this. I hadn’t had any feelings of claustrophobia in years! I talked my way through it, but THEN …

We come out to the first interior balcony. This is an amazing opportunity to get a closer view of the cosmic, religious mural on the ceiling. But I can barely look up. Although I was no longer enclosed, now my fear of heights kicked in. Great! There I am, half-way up to this amazing ceiling, and I can’t see a thing. My brain is telling me that the balcony that has been there for hundreds of years is suddenly going to collapse and crash to the floor.

I try to be positive, so here is that side: I made it that far, and I continued on. It wasn’t perfect, but I got across the balcony and through the door. And I had to laugh, because the door was literally framed inside the artists vision of Hell. That hit pretty true at the moment.

Back to the stairs, winding their way through the interior of the Duomo. Yet, somehow, I was past my fear. Out we went for incredible views of Florence, and I felt little of my fear of heights. At the top, though it was really high up, I mostly enjoyed the views, though I admit I didn’t go all the way to the railing!

We had to descend and go through an even higher interior balcony. Though we couldn’t linger, I was able to look up and view this masterpiece without feeling like the balcony was going to tumble to the distant floor below.

I often struggle with feelings of inferiority due to my anxieties and their impact on my life. Yet, I have learned over the years that dealing with anxiety and facing fear takes a lot of bravery. I am going to spend my life with these issues I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean I will back down from testing myself and my limits.

My new book: Speak Again Bright Angel