What are all these black helicopters doing here? 

Ah, the mysterious black helicopter. I’m sure you are expecting me say that it’s the government spying on you. Do they want to know what you watch on Netflix, or why you chose Olive Garden over Chilis? 

No! In fact, black helicopters have nothing to do with the government. They are actually the vehicle of choice for the modern angel. They no longer fly around with white robes and wings. Angels are surprisingly modern and fashion conscious, and robes and wings are sooooo Renaissance. Black helicopters are totally edgy and cool, and they give your average angel the kind of powers once reserved for Archangels like Gabriel, Michael, and Gandalf. These powers include, but aren’t limited to: 

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