Dear Ask Boz

What’s inside an empty box? 

Ford McGillicuddy 

Dear Ford,

Scientists, philosophers and other idiots would say that a box can’t be empty and have things inside of it. Fools! Unlike such Moron-Americans, I’m making money promoting emptiness. I am presently signing an endorsement deal with The Box Maker to promote their Empty Box Storage System. 

The EBSS is made to endure the structural stresses that come with containing nothing. Empty Box can hold everynothing, because it is designed for the rigors of holding things that have no true substance, from empty promises, to true freedom, through third parties, and beyond. 

But that’s not all!! Here are some other things you can store in Empty Box: 

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National Kindness Week

We are celebrating National Kindness Week at our school. Today’s theme is “Tied Together by Kindness”. Students and staff are asked to wear a tie to show how we are all connected.

Realizing that many people wouldn’t have ties, I cleaned out my closet last night and brought in a bag full.

The bag is now empty, and the halls are full of people with my ties on.

What is hilarious about this is how this links to my past. In high school, I was labeled a nerd. In the 1980’s being a nerd was like having a target on your back.

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