Flat Tire Philosophy

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Yesterday was supposed to be a great day. After I taught two classes in the morning, I was released for a personal half-day. My plan was to get an overdue oil change, do some Christmas shopping and watch the USA World Cup game.

But after the oil change, my tire pressure light came on. At first I was just annoyed, but when I pulled up to the first store, I could hear air coming out of the stem nozzle. After the oil change place told me they couldn’t do anything about it, I rushed to a tire place. There, they told me they could have it done by 7PM. It was 11:30 AM.

I wish I could say I dealt with this well. Thoreau talked about not getting thrown off by “nutshells and mosquito wings” that fell on the metaphorical train tracks. If a train was derailed by such small objects, it wouldn’t be a very good method of transportation.

But this problem seemed much larger to me. It was derailing my plans for the day.

Continue reading →

Ask Boz – Soft taco vs. Grilled Cheese

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In our last episode, we found out how a hard-shelled taco would do against a grilled cheese sandwich in a fight. Here is part two

  • Soft Shell (Mollibus) vs. Grilled Cheese (Rhoncus Caseus) 
     
    A much different result was found when the soft-shell taco matched up with the grilled cheese sandwich. 
     
    First of all, a soft shell can absorb punishment much like a grilled cheese can. Due to its durability and increased mobility, this taco can then deliver ranged punishment by firing hot sauce at its opponent. 
     
    But it turns out that sour cream is the wildcard. While hot sauce is tomato based, and thus similar to grilled cheese’s best friend tomato soup (Lycopersici Susceptibility Elit), sour cream is completely foreign to grilled cheese. While it seems to do no physical harm, the sandwich will retreat and cower when doused with sour cream. Our scientist theorize that it destroys the grilled cheese’s sense of self, filling it with doubt and questions about the true nature of existence. 
     
    Winner: Soft Taco. 

Since you probably saw it on the news, we regret the fact that two of our researchers have been accused of running an illegal food fighting ring. Our internal investigation showed that several of our more aggressive test foods would disappear for days, and return with unexplained wounds in their bread/shell. I assure you that neither Ask Boz or any of its subsidiaries promote, participate in, or in any way support, betting on illegal or unregulated food fights. 

The researchers have been reassigned to the cafeteria, where they will be unable to exploit food anymore. 

Boz 

Ask Boz – Taco vs Grilled Cheese part 1

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Dear Ask Boz, 

Which would win in a fight, a taco or a grilled cheese sandwich?  
Adam 
 
Dear Adam, 
 
Your question couldn’t have come at a better time, since the Ask Boz Food Anthropology Institute has just finished a ten-year study on this very issue. 

First, our researchers split the question in two, seeing there are two distinct species of taco: the hard shell and the soft shell. Then we matched each in a fight against the grilled cheese. Here is what we found: 

  • Hard Shell (Duro Putamine) vs. Grilled Cheese (Rhoncus Caseus) 
    Because these two species don’t exist together in the wild, our experiments were conducted in controlled environments. 
     
    The results were consistently and sadly predictable. The hard-shelled taco proved extremely vulnerable to even the softest blow from the grilled cheese. The smallest crack in the shell would expand to deadly proportions the next time the taco made the slightest offensive move. 
     
    One grilled cheese could take on as many as twelve hard tacos at a time without a problem. Although one taco would bravely expose itself as a target while the others surrounded the grilled cheese and beat on it, the grilled cheese was so durable that it could withstand multiple attacks while patiently cracking shell. 
     
    You see, a grilled cheese easily absorbs punches, and even when stretched out maintains its basic integrity. 
     
    In fact, this experiment had to be suspended when the grilled cheese refused to continue fighting. They are a very empathic sandwich. Even then, the meat grease would make the shell all soggy and it would fall apart on its own. 
     
    Winner: Grilled cheese 

Tomorrow: Soft-Shell Taco vs. Grilled Cheese

World Philosophy Day

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For this day, I thought it would be nice to post one of my favorite passages from my book. The first part is a quote from Henry David Thoreau. The second is the connection I see to Taoism.

Thoreau  

We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities.  

We loiter in winter while it is already spring. 

Tao 

Earlier, Thoreau warned not to try to turn spring into summer; here he warns not to obsess on the past. Lao Tzu said: 

Why was it that the ancients prized this Tao so much? Because it could be got by seeking for it, and the guilty could use it to escape the stain of guilt. This is the reason why all 
under heaven consider it the most valuable thing. 

Learn from mistakes and missed opportunities and apply this learning going forward.  Practice forgiving yourself, especially if you have accepted the lessons from your mistakes. Forge forward with this learning, determined to make a new day and a new you. 

If you like this, you may like to read more in my book Tao of Thoreau

Performance Anxiety

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The PechaKucha format is so different and challenging. In standard storytelling, the teller has no additional pressure except for telling the story well and not going past the time limit. In the Pecha format, you have to speak as pictures are projected behind you. The teller has twenty seconds per slide to tell the story of that image. The additional pressure of not coming up short and standing there awkwardly waiting for the next slide, or going long into the next one really impacted me.

I was prepared, but I was stressed. More than I have been in a long time. It was kind of a long drive to the theatre, and I barely had a word to say to my wife. I felt bound up. 

Yet, when I walked to the microphone, all my nerves fell away. When my first image was projected, I got right into my story. And frankly, I kind of killed it.  

My takeaway from this is that I’ve earned confidence. I belong talking into a mic. As long as I continue to be respectful of the process, I can approach performing with a feeling of belief.