Dear Ask Boz,

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Ask Boz researched several famous Woodchucks and came up with these answers: 

Wood Chuck Norris – Wood Chuck Norris wouldn’t only chuck wood, he’d kick wood’s bark. He wouldn’t feel bad for wood, either, like you would, you namby-pamby. He’d kick your bark, too, for sure, even if he had to glue some bark to you first.

Senator Woodchuck Schumer – Has put a committee together to look into the crisis in chucked wood, with special emphasis on regulating the after-chuck market. 

Wood Chuck E Cheese – Wood Chucky E Cheese made every effort to cooperate with our investigation. We agreed with his lawyers that there needed to be parameters to clearly define how much wood Wood Chuck E Cheese would chuck if Wood Chuck E Cheese would chuck wood. The following are the key agreements reached: 

  • It was agreed that “wood” would be defined as a log no longer than two feet and no greater than a half-foot in diameter. 
  • A “chuck” would be defined as any toss of an approved piece of wood that reached or exceeded three feet. 

Chuck E signed a contract stating that he “would chuck wood.” Chuck E began chucking wood, but was dismayed to realize that there was no time limit to the chucking period. Chuck E has now been chucking wood for forty-two consecutive days. His lawyers are attempting to work in an amendment or an addendum that would stipulate a time limitation on how much any given woodchuck would have to chuck wood. He has full support of the Woodchuck Union.

Wood Chuck Palahniuk – In his novel The Chuck Club, WCP writes of a main character, Charles, who has a dual personality. While Charles is afraid to chuck wood, his alter ego “Chuck” chucks wood all the time. They form a The Chuck Club, and make a First Rule: Never Tell How Much Wood You Can Chuck.

Wood Chucky does not chuck wood. He stabs it with a knife.

Wood Chuck Taylors – are shoes. How the hell can they chuck anything? What, are you stupid or something? Get out of here! 

Dear Ask Boz

Dear Ask Boz,

What are the steps to replacing a windshield on a Skid Steer?  

Dear Dave,  

As you know, Dave, the steps vary widely according to model. We have listed some Skid Steer models with the basic steps to replace the windshield for each. 

  • On the X-50, simply do the following: Shift the quadrilateral O-rings to their “release” settings. This unlocks the anterial focastle, allowing the windshield to swing free. At this point, with a screwdriver or an anvil, you can remove the existing windshield. To install the new windshield, simple reverse the previous steps, ending with the quadrilateral O-rings at the “acceptance” setting. 
  • The X-373 features the “bio-organixshield” windshield. The windshield is a living thing, and will replicate itself. So just be patient, especially if it’s cold out. 
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