Ask Boz: What’s my lumberjack name?

/ boz bozeman / Leave a comment

Dear Ask Boz, 

I just got a chainsaw! What should my lumberjack name be? 

Brad 

Congratulations on your purchase! Of course, just having a chain saw and cutting down some trees doesn’t make you a lumberjack. To truly join that craft, you have to hate trees. Loathe them. Wish they had organs so you could defenestrate them. And knowing you Brad, I think you have the right amount of rage to take down a forest!  

So, if you’re committed, you can’t an average name like “Schmitty” or “Lefty” or “Old Stumpy”. Nope, you need a name that shows your rage at trees. And the best ones are in the language of anger: Ancient Norse.

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I am Slow Food

/ boz bozeman / Leave a comment

The Slow Food movement is designed to counter fast food. The emphasis is on taking your time, taking care, and savoring the cooking and the taste of the dish.

I feel like I am the Slow Food of entertainment. I look at things like Tik Tok, Instagram Reels, and the like, and while I get it, it’s just not me. I like to consider what I write, edit what I post. I like to reminisce about the past, ponder ideas, take my time.

What is popular is immediacy, momentary distraction, disposable fun. I’m not judging it; I am often a consumer of it. I’m just realizing it’s not me.

Can it be? Can I balance my long-distance pace with a sprinter’s burst? Should I?

I’m probably going to try. I have a desire to be noticed, to be hot, to go viral. But I know it’s going to take a lot of learning to become something I am not.